Corporate Diaries 4: Burnout would be "cringe" if others could see it.
If you can't help suffering, at least suffer in silence.
Where did the idea of burnout being cringe even come from?
This is not an attempt at sounding controversial, but rather a series of random thoughts throughout my day that led me to this insight: Burnout would be cringe - if others could see you being burned out.
So does that mean that people are inherently mean, or that it’s good that you can often burn out like a match without anyone on your team ever noticing? Just because it conceals the weakness and safes you from ridicule. Maybe, I don’t know.
But why cringe? If you pick up any book on burnout, it will dive deep into systemic workforce issues in corporate America. You will learn how caregiving jobs at low pay grades, like teachers, or even well-paid ones, like in the medical field, are commonly causing burnout to selfless workers who give 110% and often, even more, to do their jobs despite the shortcomings of the system or the establishments they are in.
And there is a lot of sympathy for that—the examples given are people who make the world better, but what about a 30-something click-clacking on a keyboard with a minimalistic design, whose job title is almost impossible to explain to an unsuspecting grandparent?
Why no one would understand.
How do you explain to the older generation that constantly changing priorities and accompanying deadlines stress you out and make you wake up hours before your alarm in a cold sweat? It sounds rather dramatic. But worse (well, for me) is that there would hardly be much sympathy from the younger generation either; it seems they would be even more confused by such a confession.
According to Forbes, Gen Z and Millennials (perhaps some of the younger ones, in my opinion) are less likely to sacrifice work-life balance for higher salaries and are resisting the relentless rat race.
So here is where I conclude that Burnout Would Be So Cringe-Worthy If People Could See It.
Trying too hard has always been seen as unattractive, and we praise so much more all the successful people who look like they just got it. A try-hard millennial with bags under their eyes, a never-ending to-do list, and running on three cups of coffee would hardly spark any sympathy, not in an office, and certainly not from people who have managed to build strong boundaries to where work ends and personal life begins.
So, yes, as cold-hearted as it is, I’d be cringy to look at if I didn’t put on a smile and pretend I am on top of it. I will call the new project a “growth opportunity” and an “exciting challenge” and not expose that I will dread it as another thing I will stay late for.
Playing Devil’s advocate
Some might argue that today’s society is rather favourable to people's struggles with mental health or at least more understanding, so being called cringy and seen as weak would be frowned upon. Companies advertise their policies on work-life balance and strive to claim a “best place to work” badges. So this would mean struggling with burnout wouldn’t be an embarrassing confession.
I beg to differ; the office is where one should be a professional, where you face all challenges and get on top. Even if, in theory, everyone knows that professionals are still only human, being seen as weak and suffering is a reason for people to distance themselves from you. This might be a trait we still carry from hundreds of years ago when the tribe's survival was more important than risking caring for the sick.
Conclusion: If you can't help suffering, at least suffer in silence.
Even while on this journey of recovering from burnout and looking for ways to live a happier, more balanced life, it will be a journey I won’t be sharing in the office.
Sometimes, honesty is not the best policy.
Spearing yourself from the pity of others might not be the smartest thing to do, but it feels safer. It might shield you from others cringing your way, from being looked at as weak and incapable.
This shield is enough for now while I figure out how to overcome burnout.
Experiencing burnout can look different for everyone.
This Substack’s mission is to talk about it, about a feeling many live and work with (or despite), regardless of whether you hate or love what you do—in your professional or personal life.
Please feel free to share your opinion, story or feedback.
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